Many people under-estimate the loss of clear-thinking power when grief cuts in. Shock comes even when a death was expected. Many people would be doing themselves a great favour by making some definite plans and preparations beforehand when they know a family death is imminent. This is so much better than having to drop everything and with a sudden and often severe psychological and emotional diminishing, face what can easily be an overwhelming mix of issues questions decisions and pressure.

It is unfamiliar ground and there are many uncertainties and complex decisions. We would have more better funerals if families got onto it beforehand. Many people facing death themselves are greatly helped in their last months and weeks by making some funeral plans themselves. Always, there will be benefit in meeting me, as celebrant and a funeral director - you can come direct to me on that aspect too - ahead of time. Funeral Directors call this Pre-Arrangement, or if you pay or transfer money into a recognised Trust Fund, a Pre-Payment.

I do not involve myself in Pre-payments.

If you have been to any funerals yourself, probably the strongest impressions and memories stem from how the celebrant led the service - more memorable probably than the look of the casket or flowers, the songs sung, or who the funeral director was. It is therefore probably important that the family chose their celebrant, then when they know they have the person they want, work through their chosen funeral director for all other support and advice. This is generally how church people do it - they often engage the minister first, then the Funeral Director. As it stands, most people chose the funeral director first and let them select the celebrant. The other way is better, because at the end of the day, it is the celebrant who is representing you and your loved one. It is the celebrant who sits down with the family and becomes drawn into the more personal issues of an individual or a family. As a celebrant who has also worked as a funeral director I can also talk through some ideas and issues to help prepare you for your discussion with the funeral director.

This gives the family an opportunity to learn something of the funeral process before having to suddenly make a commitment to a certain course of action. Also, some terminally ill people like the idea of meeting the person who will conduct their service. To others this is bizarre. Some family like the idea of my meeting mum even though mum is in a rest home with Alzheimer's Disease. It is also of value to me the celebrant, to talk to the person face to face or at least meet the one whose death is expected soon. It does lift the whole funeral process and the reality of the issue, out of the mysterious and unknown, and into the open. Definitely helpful.

Meeting The Potential Funeral Director.

Anything worked out before-hand softens the journey later on. You can make a Pre-arrangement, view their premises, and catch a feel for how the company operates. You will be surprised how easy to make, many of the decisions are when you have a clear mind. I can help you also in many aspects of the Funeral Director's work.

• Informal Arrangement Discussion. I would expect to come to you, and we simply chat about the whole funeral arranging process and options which might be available to you in Auckland. My advice would be informal and unbiased and I trust, usefully informed. This chat can occur weeks before the death occurs or straight after. It would remain totally your choice which funeral company you wish to engage.
• Formal pre-arrangement - preferred options are talked through and put on paper before the death occurs. The funeral process will then be easier to make and the family would in time, make the decision on which funeral company to engage.
• Partial Arrangement. This takes either of the above options one stage further. With many of the issues well talked through I can then on your behalf, contact the funeral company of your choice and pass on the decisions already made and the information already gathered. If you like, I could then sit in when arrangements are formally made with the funeral director and throughout the process be as close to the play as you would like me to be.

What about My fee?

The fee for my services as a celebrant is normally paid to me on the day by the funeral director and built into your account. If you prefer to pay me directly, on the day, that's fine. A typical service with the amount of travel involved in Auckland requires somewhere between five and seven hours total time - often more for a burial with cup of tea before, and between 60 and 120 kilometres in the car. The celebrant's fee as at January 2008 is generally in the range of $350 - $375 plus Gst.

If you would like my involvement as shown in the previous section - Informal Arrangement Discussion, Formal Pre-Arrangement or Partial Arrangement - there may be an additional fee of something like $150. This could also be paid separately, or where appropriate, included as a disbursement in the Funeral company's account

1. If the death is unexpected or unexplained, call the police.
2. If the death happened at home and was expected and the deceased has been under medical attention in the last month, call the doctor who has looked after him/her.
3. Once the police or doctor has attended, call the funeral director of your choice. If you wish to call me for advice you are welcome to do this - 09 528 3395 - but please, not while I am sleeping.
4. Make the decision early about cremation or burial. If your choice is for cremation, the doctor will need to complete a second document.
5. To know more, download Step by Step Through The Funeral Arrangements Process

• Basic Professional services fee
• Transfer/removal charges
• Embalming and sanitation charges
• Use of hearse for funeral service
• After-hours arranging surcharge
• Cost of a basic Richmond or equivalent flat lid casket
• Any other fixed additional charges